Sunday, February 28, 2010

Because of Layla Grace

I am sitting up tonight....stressing over the birth of my little Carly's puppies...or so far puppy. Stressing because it has been 4 hours since she had her first pup and so far no more. But I have been stressing a lot lately, over Layla Grace. A precious little girl in Houston suffering with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma. For over a month now I have been praying for the miraculous healing of this baby's body along with thousands of others. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like that is God's plan. As I read her parent's Tweet's and follow their blog; I cry but mostly I get up and look at my children....really LOOK at them and listen to their noises. I have quit getting angry or irritated when they pull on me to get something or just to be held which is often the case. Because of little Layla Grace.
Her parents are now at home listening to their precious child's breathing, helpless, scared and yet praying for her peace. Watching her die and yet the world goes on, it seems cruel. But they seem so strong, clinging to every second that they have with her and letting the world in by updating their twitter page/blog/facebook. That is strength. That is love and that is what is going to let Layla live forever. I can imagine that her Sister's will look at their children differently because of their sister. I know I am seeing my life with my kids a lot different. Little Layla Grace has changed the lives of so many......
I still pray, pray for miracles, pray for her peace, pray for her families healing and pray that little Layla and her family knows how much they are loved by so many that have never met them.

Monday, February 8, 2010

"miracle of the five loaves and two fish"

My husband and I have lived paycheck to paycheck for the last 3 years. Always behind, always stressed. But he has always seemed to come through for us. Because of my immigration problems I haven't been able to work for the last 3 years. Now don't think that I am lazy or don't want to work, I have worked since I was 15 years old and at times I had two or three jobs going. I never saw myself as the stay-at-home Mom but this is where fate has put me and I am trying to do my best at it. However; I have realized lately that I had the wrong mindset. I am not sure of how to explain that more thoroughly. I believe now that God wants me to not only succeed at this job but excel, I am supposed to learn something here.

Jason lost his job at the beginning of January. The place he worked just didn't have the business coming in and needed a reduction of force. This is a problem for people like us who, as I said before, live paycheck to paycheck. You would think, this being the beginning of February, that we were drowning.....we're not. Now, the phone bill is due and so in the utilities but we have the money to pay that. I have prayed from day one giving thanks for the blessing we have and to bring us through this and so far God has. I have no reason to believe that it will end anytime soon. It brings to mind the Miracle of the five loaves and two fish.... We have brought to God our meager finances and placed them in his hands......and our basket is not empty yet.